Our past works all have hints of us in them, whether it be an art project, a fanfiction, a story, an essay, or even just a simple song we used to always sing. They all have a piece of us in them, a piece of us that relates to that specific time period in our lives. This weekend, I was looking at some of my old writings, fictions of my own, and fictions that are just fan based, made into my own story with incorporations of other writers. I will not lie, my old emails include sesshomarusprincess006, and sesshysoftball006, and svennybaby006. Very creative right?(insert sarcasm). By posting this, I am giving you permission to judge, I even had a fanfiction account, and wrote on it just about weekly with several stories, and in all of them, I realized one main thing this past weekend; I needed laid, badly. As my booski puts it with a two word saying I have heard a lot over my high school career, paper cut. Meaning that I was so entranced by these men of fictional orientation that not only was I writing stories about them, but the female lead was, well, me. I lived, breathed, and dreamt of these wonderful, villainous men(the rebellious, stoic, bad boy with longer hair still is my dream man). It was both embarrassing, and invigorating.
I have also realized how much of the damsel in distress syndrome(DDS) I had. The main character was always being saved by these men, and now its just like why should I wait for Prince Sexy when I can do this by myself. I was not necessarily weak, but definitely a wimp. I guess some of my friends helped me stay that way for a long time, but it changed, evolved, and shaped me from that girl of early middle school/late high school, to the woman that I am today. Sure the characters had the overtone of the stubbornness I still have today, but still, something would happen and in would come Prince Sexy Rebel with a change of heart and a protection complex to save the newly submissive character from her doom. Today, I say screw that; screw Prince Sexy Rebelious Charming. He is not what I need, not in the least.
Its nice to think of one day having this Prince Charming, but its more of a romantic thought. A thought of the big, strong, sexy, enchanting man who will never exist in real society without being jailed for assualt multiple times. It's nice to think of being a Damsel in Distress, having to be saved from danger because Prince Charming will always be there to save you, no matter what. Its romantically satisfying to think like that, and to keep the dream going, though we all know it will not happen. Sure we may find those who are close, but never exact to our Prince Sexy standards, and it you do, then I envy you.
I guess when it comes down to it, we all change and evolve to those we are near, and to our own changing standards of the day. We become not necessarily better, but somehow improved to our conditions and lives. I still have that same Damsel inside of me, but she has become more of a Warrior Princess over time. Working to keep me sane, and get me through my hardships, as no man is going to do it for me. They may try, but I am stubborn, and thus will get pissed and kick their asses if they try too much. So all I can say is embrace you as you are now, and know that in time, it may change for better or worse, and that your inner child will always be there, with thoughts of dragons, sexy demons, villains, good men(which are mythical creatures by the way), toys, old friends, and happy memories. So now if you will excuse me, I need to convince someone of maybe wearing a long silver blonde wig for halloween next year.
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