I'm Moving On

     I have afraid to be me for far too long. Of course, the me here at Chatham is the real me, it's the one at home that is not. I guess I am just afraid that the ones at home wont like the me that I have changed into, the me that is not the normal small town girl. To me, Chatham is freedom, freedom from those who constantly berate me with their own thoughts of how I should live, how I should be. Hell two of the ones back at home are still mad that switched majors from Biology to Exercise Science(like that is a whole huge change anyways).

      At home, I am this subservient little girl who has no idea's of her own, just the constant aggreeance with her parents in order to keep things how they like it. I am not very neat, but always doing my best to please them, not to mention trying to be the perfect child. Yeah, right. I hung out with all the good smart kids(wait I still do that), and of course studied a good 24/7, much to my sisters disapproval. I was always in bed by ten at most, at home by eight unless I was working, and I worked both in a mall for a short while, then to fast food for a little while longer. I was a complete science geek, with no social life, few friends, and of course, a love for softball that could not be explained. Some of those things are still the same, but there are still quite a few things that are different. I used to be outspoken, and like it. I used to listen to everything anyone seen as a higher power would say, and agree with it. I know, I know, I was a kiss ass. A major kiss ass, and whenever I go home, I am still that person.

     But, when I am on campus, I regain my voice. I gain a bunch of confidence, and I use my words. I make people want to yell shut up on occasion. I am me, I am confident, I am everything my boyfriend hates when I am out here.  I become this me that I enjoy, not one who cares about what everyone else thinks. Without a doubt, I am my best when I am at school. Sure there may be some weekends where I am deff not, but hey, those are rare. I guess to me, getting out of Akron is what does it, getting away from all of those who keep those expectations. It is what helps me be the real me, I only wish they could see that. But I hide it every time I go home because I am afraid of what they will think. I care more of what they think then of my own feelings towards the subject.

    When it comes down to it, I have to show the real me, not the little ballerina nerd that they have always known. Sure it may come as a surprise to them that I have thoughts, but it will be a nice change, and a chance. A chance to truly be the one everyone here see's and they do not. I'm moving on in my life, and its time they see it.