Today started out great, I was downtown, ahead of schedule, my bus was slightly early, and I had my ticket ans was ready to go until I realized my wallet was still on the 71d. Yes, I lost my wallet, its at the bus garage, and I have a claim number, but no idea if any of my cards are in it. Needless to say, the credit card has been canceled, and a hold was placed on my debit card. I am so freaked out right now, my emotions are fried and I am pissed at myself for leaving my wallet on the bus. My id's were both in there, my keys are there, and I am now entering ohio without any of my hand sanitizer, my dubloon, and my flip flop wearing flamingo. I am nervous, and scared that someone took my cards and don't feel great about the fact that I had to cancel them both. I am just ready to be done for the day, but I am getting another license today as its up for renewal next week anyways.

Are We World Ready Enough?

I have been thinking about the last year quite a bit this week. From the fact that I went from having absolutely no use of my right leg, to walking, to sprinting, jogging, agillity, tugging, shifting, and now rock wall climbing is amazing. I have also been thinking about my class situation. This time last year I was afraid that I would have to retake chemistry again, now, I am free from it for a really long time. I had a total of four classes, now I am lucky just to have four on one day. I had an amazing roommate in the apartments, and now, I have closer relationships with friends though I am in a single. It's been a good, long year, and there are so many more to come. But its amazing to stop and think of everything you have done in a year. We won BOTC twice, softball score keeping had its best records though the stats were still screwed up though there was a flawless book. I walked, I ran, I moved, and lost thirty pounds. I saw my first hockey game at the Energy Center, broke up and then got back together with my boyfriend. Said goodbye to my sisters boyfriend before he left for the marines. He's back at home as of midnight btw. I played two games in fall ball, one of which we won, another in which we should have won. I attended an 80's dance, made it off campus a bit, and I spent time with the girls who I've come to see as family. Its been a good year, and there are only a few more left before we all seperate and go our separate ways into grad school, and into the real world. Thats what scares me, the real world and actually succeeding. Am I world ready enough? Well, I have another year before grad then three more after that to find out.

 Are we ever really ready to go out and make our own decisions? I do not mean living on campus in an apartment where there really is no monthly rent, and not to mention utility cost. How will we know that these are the steps we need to take as we are coached the entire step of the eay until someone says, hey, you're ready go find a job, a house, a significant other and live your life both safely, but also funly. Its impossible to know until we take those first steps, and we are all afraid of failure. But we have to remember, we will all fail sometimes. We try to stay positive but also have to expect the failure and have a back up plan. But what if the back up plan does not work. Their are so many What If's in life that the mere thought of it makes my mind reel.

Are we ever truly world ready women? Does it hit us when we graduate. Is it like a secret tattoo that once the ink is placed in your skin all the knowledge of what you need to know is transferred to your brain? No, its us taking those first few test steps into the water, testing the temperature to see if its right for us to jump in and not scald/freeze ourselves. We won't know until we actually do it and its the fact that we don't know what the results will be that makes the whole fear of the unknown so much greater. We are judged by our strengths, weaknesses, failures and choices, so its perfectly alright to be afraid to decide. Its fine to not want to make the decision, but we have to make that decision sometime.

Down with the lefties

So you know all those times where you hear something that you just have to tell someone close to you about. Information so excititng, or even not so much exciting that you just have to get out and tell a good friend. Well, I can't anymore because the person whose characteristic is in the blog title hears all the information I want to tell her when I hear it. Then I forget that tiny detail and tell her a good day or two later while I am all excited and happy, only to hear the reply of "I know, I was with you". or "I know, I was there".

 But isn't that how everything is though. We forget the small details over the excitement of a big one. We forget the people we are with at the time all because we lose focus on that moment over a detail that really does not matter all too much when you think about it. We forget who we tell information too, and its not because we do not care, its because we simply believe that news this good is better than the time we are having which seems cold and uncaring, but it is not in the context.

 Or maybe I am just forgetful and need to bring out a right handed chainsaw

Amnesia Much?
Laurel Lee

Well according to all the staff that were at BOTC friday night, we should have won as they enjoyed ours the most. Guess we just got the bad luck with the judging.

My conference was pretty fun to go to, and I have made an outline of it to send to everyone who wants to read it.

I can't wait to go home and get bunny cuddles, I miss my baby girl

This random post about random things will now randomly end.

I lied, I guess I am just so jumbled up right now between school and everything that there is no cohesiveness to my thoughts. I need someone to be the glue to my paper chain, the melody to all of these random lyrics, streaming them together,

I just really need sleep

Relaxation Nation

Its that time of the semester again, the time where you are so consumed in work that you neglect your friends, your family, and even yourself. This is the time you need to take better care of yourself. Take me for example. I overindulged on pizza this weekend to get away from it, yes, pizza, you know what type of pizza I mean. It was enough that well, I puked. The thing is, it felt good to overindulge, almost like I was taking care of myself in a way. I got away from my stress, and I spent time with the people it feels like I have neglected. The way I did it was more than likely not healthy, but it still felt good, it was relaxing, calming, and a great break from life for a few hours.

That's what we need to do more. We need to get away from our lives, and pay attention to those of others. We need to see our friends and have fun. We need relax, and we, well I need more water in me. We need to relax, and take care of ourselves in whatever little way possible.

Whose with me?
Laurel Lee